Monday, April 30, 2007

Cabo Wabo San Lucas

Spring Break 2007!!!

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We essentially did the loop of La Paz, Todos Santos, Cabo San Lucas and back to La Paz.

The next day we decided to go for a day drive down to the tip of Baja to Los Cabos but since Josh wasn’t currently enjoying the deafening noise of his broken muffler we stripped mine of panniers and doubled up for the ride. After long and involved deliberations and planning meetings with Humberto and Betty and any other friend/family member that happened along we were told to head down to Todos Santos for breakfast/lunch depending upon departure time, then down to a surf town by the name of Pescadero, then go through Cabo San Lucas for dinner before booking it back to La Paz. What ended up happening is an altogether different story: we left late which is always my fault, we cruised through Todos Santos without even stopping (but we did appreciate its palms and oasis-like character and artsy shops before accelerating out of town), we totally missed the turnoff for the surf town which we could see would have been delightful, we pulled over at some point for a solitary beach walk which ended up trying to be very careful to avoid the multiple RVs parked on the beach, then down and into Cabo San Lucas for lunch and trouble.


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A Fancy photo of Josh and I (solely in reflection but at least I’m in color…)

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My turn to do a reflection photo but this time we’re all in color.

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Josh being pummeled by the waves he once mocked.

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Approaching Cabo San Lucas through industrial wastelands.

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The Fishing Fleet coming back into port after a terrible day not catching any fish.

We pulled into town in the early afternoon and went directly to the marina and the breakwater entrance for some quick reminiscing before heading to a restaurant. It was twenty years ago that we’d pulled into this harbor and dropped anchor. Our parents went ashore first in order to check in with the customs authorities before coming back to get us to go exploring. But when they came back they didn’t look very happy; they climbed on deck and addressed us all at once. “It seems that we’re not allowed to bring in five people because Mexico is limiting how many people they want in the country. They’ve only given us permission for four so we’re going to have to leave one of you behind. We’ve decided to let you three determine amongst yourselves which one stays here.” At that point Joshua and I, the youngest, were pretty much scared shitless about being left behind. Noah ran off for some thinking time while Josh and I started trying to decide the criteria that would determine which one of us would be voted on by the other two, ‘well Noah and Ian still wet their beds, Josh is a terror most of the time, Ian’s still a baby so who needs him, Noah’s the only one who’s old enough to make it on his own… etc.’ Then Noah ran back into the room and started laughing at us. It seems that it happened to be April 1st and we’d just been fooled. To this day I think that’s quite an extreme prank to play on your kids: “We don’t want one of you anymore. Decide amongst yourselves which one it is. Then we leave you.” But I suppose it’s really just close to the truth since at one point Josh was put up for adoption when he was younger but it never went all the way through. Obviously.

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Showing our dislike of Cabo San Lucas Spring Break 2000-fucking 7!!!

We had some lunch and then walked down the beach towards loud music. As it happened we were there during the height of Spring Break 2007!!!! Woooo Hooooo! Yeah! Tequila shots! All around, all night, alright! We tried to take it but could only handle an hour- impressive, I know – before running away. But the sunset was gorgeous as we ran down the beach and it reflected off of the calm sea and the mountains running into the sea and the famous natural arch cut out of the cliffs at water level.

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You have got to be kidding me.

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The man in the mariachi hat has two gun straps slung around him full of shot glasses, in his dual holsters bottles of tequila.

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My friend Lauren is working on one of these yachts in the bay.

The two of us got separated for a while before we ran into each other again and decided to go to the major club called Squid Row and try to join the Spring Breakers instead of beating them. We ended up having a great time as crazy as this sounds with a young Canadian girl’s* mother who was visiting her daughter for a week. She was so lovingly disapproving of all the kids gyrating close together that she built a giant stick out of four oversized straws and began hitting a young couple to separate them. This went on for an hour as we took turns hitting people that were ‘too close’ together to be civilized; then we found out what the oversized straws were used for and ended up getting quite drunk. Josh and I were merely on a day trip so we had no plans on staying in Cabo for the night but then it was four in the morning and the club was closing and we had to find a place. We jumped in a taxi with a bunch of other kids and went on the rounds dropping girls and boys off at different hotels until it came our turn and we asked the driver, “What is the best place to sleep on the beach?” He told us to get out.

*This girl had an interesting job as a problem solver/cleaner not unlike The Wolf for a large resort; she takes care of all the issues that come up when one of the guests somehow dies on vacation, i.e. drowning, cliff diving, or alcohol poisoning. Luckily we weren’t staying at her hotel or drinking there…

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I’m sorry but it’s true; we went to Squid Row.

I believe this is the equivalent of going to Sloppy Joe’s in Key West.

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Our Canadian mother chaperone for the evening and her castigating straw below.

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That’s the couple that is dancing too close together and this|| is the straw that pried them apart.

As we were making our way down to the beach we noticed a hotel construction site that looked like it was easy enough to climb the fence and just sleep on the floor of one of the incomplete rooms; Josh hopped over first and I stumbled over second. He had turned on his flashlight and was climbing the first story when I heard a blood-curdling scream and Josh came running back out. It turned out that he had woken the night watchmen/construction worker who was living there who thought we were robbers or trespassers (we were the latter not the former) and had come at Josh with a club. We told him that we were just looking for a place to sleep and hadn’t meant to startle him and of course now we’d leave. He followed us back to where we had climbed the fence and we said goodnight. We laughed a bit as we walked down to the beach and looked for some comfortable spot to curl up on. We didn’t find one but we did pass out until dawn.

This was a very painful way to wake up; still chilled from the night before, sand mixed with alcohol in the mouth, clothes caked with I don’t want to know what, and a nice hangover headache to top it off. Let’s go ride a motorcycle everyone! Josh drove in the morning as I was tending to nod off on the back of the bike before we made it to Todos Santos again and had to stop for some breakfast to soak up the booze and coffee to caffeinate the sleeper on the back of a motorcycle (this is a really dangerous form of somnambulism). After three cups of coffee I was still really tired but decided it would be best if I drove since I wouldn’t be able to nod off that way. Turns out I was dangerously right but right nonetheless.